The Stage

Life is not about me. I didn't just have one of those palm to forehead moments. The moment of my birth all eyes in the room were on me. I commanded attention without even knowing it. My cries were monitored and attended to with rapid speed. In due time only certain "hootin' and hollerins'" I did even bleeped across my family's radar. Everyone had me figured out and knew my little tantrums were for attention. I was ignored and took the tantrums inside my body since all outward pleas went unnoticed. Emotions such as anger, resentment,and criticism began to fester. Little did I know I was building quite an arsenal to retaliate when my spotlight was dimmed or darkened by others. I wish I could tell you this behavior changed the moment I surrendered my life to Christ. To do so would make me a liar. I am so grateful God in His mercy has zoomed the spotlight on my negative emotions and behaviors. He has done this in private (of which I am thankful for) and also in public (where my biggest lessons were learned). I've come to realize on the stage of life not everyone can have the spotlight all the time nor do they deserve it - even moi! I am able to sit back and enjoy watching the gifts and talents of others. I can rest just in case I get another turn or help backstage so others lights shine even brighter when they get a turn and I don't. This has been humbling and a necessary life skill. The apostle Paul said he had learned to be content in whatever situation he was in. I can't say I've landed the plane on that runway yet. However, I am reading the manual to learn how to be okay with where God has me, on stage or off.