I 40 West

The voice activated map system set on my phone was all set to direct me home. I was panting to listen to a praise and worship cd I’d received as a gift just moments before my pilgrimage began. Then, an odd thing happened. The phone map steered me to turn on I 40 West. “What? No I don’t want to go that way. I’ll never get home going in that direction.” I stopped and pulled up the map. Yes, this route would be the best way. I wanted to fight the voice directing commands but I surrendered.

There was a problem with me, not the map system. Because of a family struggle I was not welcome in the direction of I 40 West. The voice kept shouting the town where I needed to turn left, the very place which had become my “forbidden city.” Just the mention of the place made me weep. Then the revelation started unfolding. The words on the cd were blaring. “Be still. I will carry you. I will mount you up on wings of eagles, and bring you joy. Rest in My love.” Were these just words on a cd? No. God strategically planted the lyrics for that moment in time. I was heaving crying. In the depths of my soul I wanted to go I 40 West. I grieved because there was an imaginary sign flashing, “No Trespassing” in the direction I was being mapped to travel. Would life always hold this neon sign before me? Would I forever be kept from people I truly loved? The answers to these questions still remain a mystery. Yet the solution to my dilemma was wrapped up in the lyrics – words straight from Scripture.

God knows my plight. He’s familiar with the grief and longing in my heart to be close to those I love with every fiber of my being. I would lay down my life for them. However, right now they are out of my reach. My Deliverer whispers the words from the stereo sound. His Truth makes its way from my ears to the depths of my soul, my spirit.

My journey home routed me in the right direction, back into the arms of resting in my Beloved. I am still. Carried on the wings of an unseen eagle. I am home.   

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Mrs. Job

Job 2:9 "Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.'”

We don't know her name. I'm referring to the wife of of the infamous suffer, Job. Even unchurched folk have heard of this Biblical character. People joke about experiencing a Job-like dilemma. Very few have ever come close to what Job endured. In a brief span of time he lost his children, livelihood, property, and perfect health. The only slice left of his earthly pie was a wife who suggested he curse God and die.
Job's first response to the priority mail his servants delivered - anguish and worship. He acknowledged God's power to give gifts AND to take them away. He blessed God's name. His mind was made up on the goodness of God, not the unfairness. Did Job waffle a bit as his story progressed? Yes. However, I want to camp out at his first response.
The most cherished possessions of Job were yanked from his open hands in a flash. He proclaimed God's prerogative to give and take away because he was living a surrendered life. His wife's response was to curse. Her clinched fist living made losing all she held onto as unbearable. I can identify with this nameless woman. I can put my name where hers belongs. I've not cursed God with words, but have insinuated His unfairness when he withdrew the valuables clutched in my tight-fisted palms. I've held pity parties and invited all my friends to attend. I've rejected the hideous wrapping paper of a gift enclosed with significant value. I chose to gaze only at the exterior, never imagining God had stored a priceless gift inside. Only later did I realize God's gift of suffering was purposed for my intimacy with Him, to reflect His glory in the way I opened my gift. Yes, suffering can be a gift.
My palms are open, ready to receive whatever is next.

Whiter than Snow

Psalm 51:7 "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow."

In an hour and a half my world has turned white. Ice has blanketed the earth. No one going out, none coming in. Nature has posted a "Do not disturb" sign on my front door. God whispers to me, "Be still and know." Know what God? What are you trying to say to me? Had my quiet time - check. Prayed - check. Memory verse done - check.
Then the whisper's volume increases. He reveals my "ducks in a row" morning has produced a fine looking chart but left a heart feeling void. Duty has trumped humility. Pride drips off my off my spiritual check list. I am forced to back track. Where did I go wrong?
Obedience to do the right things got entangled with a wrong motive. The child within screams for God to notice I cleaned my room. Yet God takes me to my closet. There He uncovers what I tossed in to  hide. All my dirty laundry (no longer on the floor of my room) has been discovered. My anger is in a wad in one corner; my self pity takes up space in another. He bids me to pick up all the soiled pieces and place them in His hands. He tosses them into the sea of forgiveness. He reminds me to not only be still, but to know He is God. He sees and uncovers, then covers me with grace. I experience white. White outside, white inside. He is God.

Sleeve Speaking

I wear my heart on my sleeves. I always have. My mom said when  I was a small child I would walk into a room and she knew I had done something. She said my face was a reflector of everything I did or felt. My family has accused me of talking with my eyes and facial contortions. I have tried to restrict muscle movements my body wants to make but somehow that makes me even more of a spectacle.

Today I read in Genesis how Cain's feelings were evidenced on his face. After the brothers brought offerings to the Lord, Cain's was deemed unacceptable. Cain became angry and the Bible tells us his countenance fell. The Lord inquired of the fallen face and angry disposition. He reminded the young man sin was crouching at his door, desiring to rule over him. God knew the anger on the face spilled over from anger in the heart. He knew the depth of the fury was not a temporary feeling but a deep root that needed to be pulled up and cast out. Cain's Creator warned him of feelings that could destroy him if he would not surrender them.

Feelings are not unhealthy in themselves. What we do with the feelings and how we act on them can be sinful. In Cain's case, the feeling of anger overtook him. Murder sprung from the root of bitterness in his heart. How often does an emotion take over the mind and heart and will. Words are spilled -  overflowing from a bucket of bitter poison. Cynical snorts and eyebrow liftings let the "cat out of the bag" so to speak. Everyone knows what is ticking in the heart chambers. 

Cain was unable to keep his hurt and anger a secret because God knew the secrets of his heart. He knows mine - and yours too. Today I choose to pour everything out before Him in surrender. I want my sleeves to speak honor before God and others.

Flam Glam

Lifestyles of the rich and famous. We Americans eat this stuff up. Television shows inflate every move of anyone who even whiffs of notoriety. The tabloids and magazines share cropped and doctored photos to pique the curiosity of those far removed from the limelight. We gaze in wonderment of what life would be like at the top. Now I have ask myself “At the top of what?” I wonder who determines the pinnacle of success and trendsetting. Who is the mastermind behind the successes and “what’s hot and what’s not”? Should I allow today’s “fashionistas” to determine tomorrow’s shopping? All these questions can be guided by looking into Scripture.
The first fashion trend was designed by God –nakedness. There was no need to fancy up or cover up what God had made as beautiful. However, sin changed things. Man dissed not only God’s plan for living, but also His way for dressing. So, a second trend was unearthed. (Literally the plan came from the earth around them.) The foliage from the fig tree was man’s plan for hiding personal parts outside the body and the guilt and shame inside of the heart. God wasn’t impressed with the cover up of excuses as to the how and why the sin ever took place. He wasn’t wowed by the fig leaf cover up either. God set a whole new fashion trend both physically and spiritually. The blood of His own creation was spilled so the first man and woman would be covered. The tunics were made from creatures that God formed and called “good.” The Creator gave life, took life, only to give life back again. Man needed a sin covering. He still does. All of us cling to excuses for stepping away from God’s plan. All the excuses in the world can never wipe away guilt and shame. The ultimate sin and shame covering came in the form of God’s supreme sacrifice –His Son. His life was given for our sin, taken for sin, but given back so we could have eternal life. He was sent to be the trendsetter. The tunic of forgiveness looks great on every man.

God with Us

Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Emmanuel. God with us. I listened to the words playing in my car. I thought about God's gift of forgiveness wrapped up in human flesh. Skeptics doubt this fact. Believers bank on this as truth. Martyrs die proclaiming this message. Sometimes we act as though Emmanuel was a nickname given to Christ before "Savior", "King of Kings", "Lord of Lords", and "Prince of Peace". We wallow in loneliness, drown in fear and hurt. We text and call anyone who will listen or help. Friends are great to bend an ear,or offer an extended hand. They may even be sent by God at certain times. However, what a friend cannot do is place within us a peace and comfort that stills the soul. To expect this of someone will drain them dry and leave us even more alone. Four times in the Book of John, Jesus mentioned when He left this place called earth, He would send a Comforter. Our Creator knew our need for companionship. He knew our longing for a God who would dwell in and among us. We are not alone. Emmanuel. Prince of Peace. Counselor. Comforter. God with us.

STUCK

Rodents in your walls will drive you mad. Crazy mad. My husband bought every trap the big box home store sold. Our critter was smart and somehow bypassed the traps and scurried up pipes into the wall beside our bed. Each night she scampered back and forth repetitively. She was making trips from the outside of our house to the inside of our wall, nesting. One night I punched my husband and screamed, “Go get her!” He rushed to the basement and the known point of entry. There was a showdown. My brave warrior husband with flashlight and long stick and a squirrel caught in headlights, frozen with fear, the battle began. The squirrel mustered up enough courage to run but my husband’s stick was long. He speared her. (Sorry animal lovers, but two weeks of no sleep and the chance of a wall filled with rodents drive one to extreme measures.) To our dismay one of the sticky traps left out caught two baby sparrows. I managed to free one but the other fought my efforts. With every wiggle she glued down further. Then her legs broke. The beak and another wing went down in the unforgivable glue. I tried to free her. She breathed her last. I fought back tears and recalled that “His eye is on the sparrow.” I’ve met folks like the squirrel. They try to plant roots where they don’t belong. They run themselves crazy trying to be where they shouldn’t. Those closest to them get exhausted with the perpetual frantic panic that ensues. The end of their story doesn’t include, “And they lived happily, ever after.” Then there are the sparrows. These are the innocents who wonder off course out of curiosity. They get stuck in places, with people, or substances that trap them. The submissive ones yield to those who provide rescue. The stubborn ones resist. One is freed (never the less with a bit of glue that reminds them to stay away from danger). However, those who resist a graceful rescue, stay stuck. Until a willingness to get out of the clutching trap occurs, there is a war. We watch, wait, and pray. We can’t get them out of stuck. There is a death to self will that frees us from stuck and leads to living, to a life worth living. Jesus prayed, “Not my will, but yours be done.”